To place your horse's need for you to let him leave his failing body above your need to keep him with you—that—is the greatest and purest love.
~Cynthia Garrett
Sadly, Tom’s leg is failing him.
As most of you know, Tom suffers from a condition known as chronic equine lymphedema, a condition he has had for years, even before he became a carriage horse in Philadelphia. The details of his illness have been discussed at length elsewhere.
It is enough to say that it is enough. Tom has told us it is enough.
Through Tom’s long illness, we have often grappled with the difficult question of how much deformity and degeneration in his leg Tom could – or should – endure. We have wondered whether or not he had a quality of life. Ever since his arrival at Blue Star Equiculture on May 5, 2009, Tom’s answer to the question of whether or not he was enjoying his life has been emphatically affirmative. He has demonstrated in his bearing and behavior a determination to live and a delight in his retirement home. His swollen leg has rarely slowed him down as he has enjoyed herd life in the pastures at Blue Star Equiculture, enjoying the company of his beloved “girls,” Duchess and Chyna. Over the years, he has pulled carriages throughout Philadelphia and its suburbs, in Belchertown and Palmer in our own Massachusetts, and gone on charity trail rides, demonstrating in his retirement an enjoyment of life under saddle. He has been blessed by Chief Arvol Looking Horse on World Peace and Prayer Day. He has lived a full life full of fire and joy, and we are grateful to have been with him in his well-earned retirement.
The fire, though, is flickering out, and joyful moments are fewer and farther inbetween. Despite the best efforts of veterinary science over the course of many years, there remains no cure for chronic equine lymphedema. We have always said that so long as Tom didn’t have a problem with his leg, we didn’t either, and we would allow him all the time in the world to enjoy this life here with us. Tom is telling us now that he is exhausted, that he is depressed, and that he no longer can fight for his life against the disease.
One of the greatest gifts – and greatest responsibilities – of being human is the capacity to be humane. It’s a mantle that we at Blue Star Equiculture do not wear lightly. Humane treatment of these magnificent horses is the bedrock upon which our organization is built. Tom’s case is exactly why we do what we do, but also exactly why what we do is so difficult. Humans owe all horses the dignity of a good death. Euthanasia means precisely that in Greek – “eu”: good, “thanasia”: death.
This decision has been extremely difficult and painful for us. Those who love horses deeply know that our relationships with them can be as complicated and beautiful as those we have with other people. Carriage drivers, in particular, know their coworkers as intimately as anyone; we know our horses’ souls and they ours. Pamela and Tom worked together exclusively for over a year in Philadelphia. Angie and Tom, as well, worked together for almost as long. I, too, had the great honor and pleasure of driving Tom on several occasions. However, our natural desire to avoid our own suffering cannot outweigh our responsibility to alleviate Tom’s.
And so, it is with heavy hearts that we announce that we will be humanely euthanizing Tom early next week. We invite you to come and take this weekend at the farm (or wherever you are) to tell him goodbye in the manner of your choosing.
We know that Tom has had literally hundreds, if not thousands of admirers over the course of his lifetime, from the casual passenger or passerby to his dearest friends. We know that he is very well-loved, and we know that this will be difficult for all those close to him, but we encourage you to bring him carrots and hugs and kisses as part of Blue Star Equiculture’s gift of a good life well-lived, well-loved, and well-ended. Thank you for loving him as much as we do.
When Tom lived in Philadelphia, he always used to try to run home to the barn at the end of the day. He pined for home when he was sent on turnout. The barn was his home, his stall his sanctuary (his stall is still referred to by some as “Tom’s stall” despite other residents). We were grateful that he quickly came to view Blue Star Equiculture and the Blue Star Herd (especially the Girls!) as his home, as well – he would happily go away from the farm, but even more happily return home with a whinny to his beloved friends. In a way, Tom is not leaving us now - he is just going home, returning to all our ancestral homes, the earth.
He will always have a home in our hearts.
ca. 1994 - July 12, 2010 16-year-old flaxen chestnut Belgian gelding
Tom is a retired carriage horse from Philadelphia, where he worked for about 8 years. He arrived in Philadelphia already having suffered some flare ups of lymphedema in his left hind leg. Fortunately, pulling a carriage was excellent exercise, the best treatment for the disease, which is a swelling of the limb due to poor lymphatic circulation which ultimately leads to a deterioration and scarring of the lymphatic system. Tom’s leg, however, got to where it was continuously noticeably swollen, despite all available veterinary options. The general public did not understand that working as a carriage horse was helping his leg – they thought it was making it worse. So Tom was retired to Blue Star Equiculture, where he continues to receive the latest in treatments for his condition, which unfortunately still baffles scientists and has no known cure. Tom is hopelessly smitten with Duchess and Chyna.